When I Cried About My Guild

whenicriedaboutmyguild

A few weeks ago, several members of my guild, including some members of my operations team, quit the guild. I was unreasonably upset about it! I cried a few times, which is absolutely a ridiculous thing to do over something that happens in a game.

I had a shiny new operations group that formed after the expansion was released (we redid the groups for SWTOR 4.0: Knights of the Fallen Empire) comprised of some guildies that I had played with for a long time and some fairly new ones, and suddenly it was gone. I even logged in with false hope for our next operations night, to see if anyone would be there, and I waited around pitifully for a group that wasn’t there anymore.

I knew something was wrong when people started questioning the loot and having arguments. However, I wasn’t expecting people to just leave–some dramatically, some silently–and to not even see a goodbye from anyone. I guess I don’t really matter; I’m not “real.” I’m only pixels on a screen and a voice in Mumble. But I had played with some of them for a long time, multiple times a week for a long time, and I felt hurt.

It made me realize (again) that I shouldn’t care as much as I do about anything on the internet, good or bad. While I consider my guildies or even people I interact with on social media my friends, I probably shouldn’t. It’s difficult to judge who is just being nice or who is genuinely your friend sometimes, and I should’ve learned this painfully obvious lesson a while ago. Making “friends” on the internet is actually a fairly newish concept to me.

I got over it eventually, and while I wish I had some of my buddies with me, I don’t think it would be the same. We’ve recruited quite a bit more people, and we’re ready to fill out more operations teams to start seriously after the New Year. I know there is currently nothing on as far as PvE group content development in the game, but it hasn’t been impacting my experience in-game. My guildies seem happy and excited to play SWTOR–it is quite the opposite of what I see outside the game as far as complaints and unhappiness amongst players. And I’m happy to play with them.

 

9 Comments

  1. r2d2arm

    December 15, 2015 at 6:06 pm

    I was sort of depressed when my very first SWTOR guild slowly died on me when I had to take a break due to work. Handing off the leadership to others didn’t do the trick to keep it going. We all try to separate our real lives with our gaming lives, but they are still intertwined in our psyche.

    Sounds like your guild and ops group is bouncing back! Good luck with the new group!

  2. Shintar

    December 15, 2015 at 11:36 pm

    I completely understand why that was upsetting, and I don’t think it’s silly that you cried. Try not to let that experience put you off online friendships though… to me it sounds less like you weren’t real enough to those who left without a word but rather like they simply weren’t very good friends.

  3. Crit (@Crit_Dmg)

    December 16, 2015 at 9:25 am

    I’ve been where you are with other games, and even with SWTOR itself just after its launch. The truth is, these things happen, and they are never spur of the moment reactions. They’re the product of a slow build up of disappoint that’s created when players start expecting too much.

    Unfortunately these things also have powerful ripple effects, it only takes one upset person to upset an entire group of people over time.

    As for not caring as much as you do, well, the why-the-heck did I bother reaction is the normal thing and perfectly understandable, but over time we remain ourselves. We still have to be the change we want to see.

    It’s perfectly okay that you reacted the way you did, I’m just sorry that it happened. Things will get better.

    (Yes, I read your blog <3)

  4. Alise

    December 16, 2015 at 10:02 am

    I dont think it’s silly either. I play the game for the people. I make plans to do things with those same people online, just like in real life. It is only common courtesy to treat people with the same respect, digital or not. Not everyone believes that yet I have seen.

  5. Shadowz

    December 16, 2015 at 9:12 pm

    You have to understand, even though some of us feel more then we’re just pixels on a screen, I treat everyone or at least try to how I would treat them in Real lIfe as well. We are humans that even behind a pc screen, a voice on a program, etc. We are real, and we share feelings, sometimes without knowledge, but none the less. Some of those friendships are not just limited to a virtual plane so to speak. Once its crossed over from a game, even a social virtual world like even Second Life, SWTOR, the human interactions are real. We connect without even touching, or in some cases without ever seeing another person. So don’t feel bad, just feel happy that even in a video game where you interact with others. you are still human ,and can feel that, sounds like to me a lot just did the infamous “rage quit”

  6. MInju

    December 17, 2015 at 6:03 pm

    It’s always difficult when waves of guild joining/leaving happen. I think we’re on the third wave in my current guild and at this point, I’ve become fairly jaded about online friendships in the context of MMOs. I’ve met a lot of really awesome people via MMOs but I just don’t expect them to last without an outside means of connection (Twitter, email, Steam co-op games, etc.).

    I’m sorry to hear that your guild has been having difficulties. It’s not unreasonable to be upset about it! These are people that you interact with on a regular basis and when several leave, it does upset the routine of things.

  7. dudenumber2

    December 28, 2015 at 6:02 am

    I found 3 amazing friends that I talk to every day for the past 3 years from swtor. even when our guild that brought us together fell apart we have great conversations every day. they left swtor but I still roam around trying to find that same comradery but have failed to do so. I still love the game and want to continue the endgame experience with people that are fun to be around. but I have also felt like maybe its time to try life in another game. good luck with yours and hopefully the devs add group content that keeps guilds happy and active.

  8. Alise

    February 4, 2016 at 4:00 pm

    I agree with most comments made here.

    If I had put that much time into working together and socialising, bet you got to know their offline lives some too, I would feel and have done the same.

    I consider quite a few people friends that I met online, but I talk to them off line too. For me that crosses the line into real friendship territory.

  9. Joseph Brown

    February 23, 2016 at 6:25 pm

    I Have been there and in the soon to be 4yrs of swtor had one major break up of a guild and a minor one. Major came back around this time last year. Part of it I blame bio ware and the other part them. Why the game has to real end game that not all see. The Ops and then the little step child called PVP. That always gets left behind. But there hope but still feel its way to late for some and hope that if they build it and its great they may come back. But with out faith and love things die and when there gone that is sadly after the fact the missing starts. But here hoping things get better all around in the spring of 2016

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